Very first Date Tips: How to Possess a Very good Time
A good first date starts with a good mindset. Both parties should set out with one goal in mind: have fun. While it may be tempting to size up a first date for marriage potential, long-term relationship possibilities or sexual compatibility, it is best to remember that a successful first date has capitalized on what happens in the moment. The future is some distant place that the two of you may never reach together. The date, however, is an experience that you will both reach before the day is done.
Here are some first date tips for having a relaxing and memorable time with someone you are trying to get to know better:
KEEP IT HONEST
In an age where many first dates develop from quick online encounters, flattering virtual profiles, on mutual friends who do not mind playing cupid, it is important to always keep the conversation very real. Many people thrive on becoming the person they think their dates are looking for. The painful outcome of this habit is that the truth always surfaces. It is best not to lie about previous experiences, pretend about personal preferences or try to hide ex-spouses or children. When the truth does come to light, you will be seen as a liar and not an authentic, flawed, likeable (loveable) human being.
KEEP IT FUNNY
Among first date ideas, humor ranks just as high as honesty. Not only does it break the ice with your date, but it hedges away nervousness that you may be feeling, too. Stay away from scripted jokes or contrived anecdotes, though. Often, if someone else has to write a joke for you, it is only funny when they tell it. Find humor in the things that you both are experiencing on the date: the funny way she says your name, the number of times he drops the fork, the way the wait staff almost spills the water on you both. Stay away from politics and religion, too. Both subjects can become heated and controversial very quickly. There is no need to let a difference in philosophy ruin your good time on a first date.
If you want to know more about your date, ask simple, straightforward questions — where he grew up, how she learned to do glass blowing, what his favorite foods are, what color dress she cannot bear to see herself in. It is important not to get too personal or intrusive. Pay attention to the body language your date gives when talking. If he or she seems too uncomfortable, change the subject gracefully and move on.
MIND YOUR MANNERS
Some things should go without saying on a first date, but experience has taught most of us it is still necessary to say them: Wear deodorant; avoid having bad breath; wear comfortable clothing – even if you trying to impress your date; do not talk too much; do not talk too little; avoid ordering messy or gassy foods; say “excuse me” and “thank you;” if the other person is paying for a meal; do not order the most expensive thing on the menu; avoid boldly talking about sex (bragging about your own prowess or being too provocative); do not argue over who is paying for what on the bill; turn off your cell phone (texting and talking during a date are annoying). A good rule of thumb is to do the things that would make your parents and your children proud. Show your date that you grew up with some social grace.
AVOID BEING TOO PHYSICAL
Everyone has a personal comfort zone when it comes to touching and getting close. A first date might not be the best time for long embraces or extended hand-holding. Always mirror the comfort level of your date. A small, quick hug when you first connect for your date (or at the end of your date) may be find. Too much touching and feeling, however, can really be a turnoff. There is no fast and furious rule about hugging and kissing. You have be very attentive to know what your date seems to be comfortable doing. Do everything in your power to avoid offending your date by being too physical. If you are in doubt, refer back to the “Keep It Honest” rule and ask your date for permission to hug.
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