Nothing commands bad advice like a first date — wear this, say that, and don’t under any conditions say that all with the aim of captivating a guy you’re not even sure you like … yet.

Not only are those so-called rules the opposite of fun (and isn’t having fun the point here?), but they also can end up boomeranging. Who wants to seem rigid or enthusiastic to please because you’re following some lame set of policies rather than just being yourself? Which trust us is always more interesting than any script.

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